Handjob Technique: Grip, Lube and Tempo

Start loose and lubricated

Apply lube to the shaft and palm. Begin with a relaxed grip and long strokes so you can feel how the skin moves. Tighten only when he asks or pushes into the hand.

Circumcised penises often need more added lubrication. Uncircumcised penises may need less because the foreskin provides movement, but direct glans contact can still feel intense.

Use zones instead of one repetitive stroke

When he gets close, keep the grip and speed stable. If the goal is to delay orgasm, stop completely for ten to twenty seconds instead of continuing with a slightly slower stroke that still pushes him over the edge.

• Use one hand on the shaft and the thumb of the other around the ridge of the glans.
• Twist gently in opposite directions with two hands; do not pull the skin painfully.
• Slow down over the head, then use longer strokes when arousal drops.
• Cup and massage the testicles only with permission and light pressure.

Make feedback specific

Ask for a number: 'Grip from one to five?' Specific questions are easier to answer than 'Is this good?' Once you find the preferred pressure, remember it and let the body settle into the rhythm.

Adapt intensity to the body in front of you

A technique is useful only when the receiving partner can comfortably guide it. Start below the intensity you expect to use, ask for a simple comparison such as softer or firmer, and keep a successful rhythm stable long enough to judge it.

Sharp pain, burning, numbness, freezing or pulling away are reasons to stop rather than signals to push through. Add lubrication, reduce depth or pressure, change position, or leave the activity for another time.

Judge the result by comfort and communication

No movement guarantees orgasm or the same response on every occasion. Fatigue, stress, medication, privacy and arousal can all change sensation. Treat feedback as the outcome measure and keep what feels good instead of trying to complete every step.